One liners 03

I didn’t think orthopedic shoes would help, but I stand corrected.

Do refuse collectors have to be trained or do they just pick it up as they go along?

I was going to go out with my architect friends but they all had plans.

I can't stop myself making classical allusions - it's my Achilles heel.

I used to have an addiction to lollipops, but now I've got it licked.

Never read a pop-up book about giraffes. (Sean Lock)

Throwing acid is wrong. In some people's eyes. (Jimmy Carr)