Doctor doctor I feel like a pair of wigwams
I know your problem. You're two tents.
Doctor doctor 07
Doctor doctor, I've swallowed my pocket money
Take this and we'll see if there's any change in the morning
One liners
Chameleons are supposed to blend well, but I think it's ruined this smoothie.
Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake.
Googled 'how to light a cigar' and got 80,000 matches.
Piano is one of the hardest instruments to pick up.
I try to be self-deprecating, I'm just not very good at it.
Two peanuts were walking on the rough side of town and one was a salted.
When the biscuit got trodden on, it said "Oh, crumbs!"
Morecambe and Wise Des O'Connor Jokes
Ernie 'I hear Des O'Connor is suffering from athlete's voice'
Eric 'You mean people hear his voice and want to run?'
Ernie 'I've got some great news'
Eric 'What? Has Des O'Connor got a sore throat?'
Eric 'I've just bought Des O'Connor's new album'
Ernie 'Where from?'
Eric 'Boots the chemist'
Ernie 'Did you need a prescription?'
Eric 'I had to go to the poison counter
Ernie Des O'Connor says he's a self-made man
Eric It’s nice that he is willing to take responsibilityEric "If you want me to be a goner Buy me a record by Des O'Connor."
Eric "Des - short for Desperate"
Eric Deaf O'Connor
Eric Des O’Connor, sing on our show? He can’t even sing on his own show!
When Eric Morecambe had a heart attack, Des O’Connor told him later that he was on stage when he heard and asked the audience to pray for Eric. Eric said he was touched. ‘Those six or seven people might have made all the difference,’ he said.
Prompted by the recent death of all round entertainer, Des O'Connor, 88.
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