Why are Christmas trees so poor at sewing?
They keep dropping their needles.
I heard of a man one Christmas who swallowed tinsel.
He began to suffer from tinselitus.
Give me another name for Santa's little helpers.
Subordinate clauses.
What do you call a naughty boy at Christmas?
A rebel without a Claus.
Choir jokes
Q: How do you tell when your lead singer is at the door?
A: He can't find the key and doesn't know when to come in.
Q: How many lead singers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One. He holds the bulb while the world revolves around him.
Q: Did you hear about the female opera singer who had quite a range at the lower end of the scale.
A: She was known as the deep C diva.
Q: How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Six. One to do it, and five to say, "It's too high for him."
Q: What's the inscription on dead blues-singers tombstones?
A: "I didn't wake up this morning..."
Q: How many altos does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They can't get up that high.
A: He can't find the key and doesn't know when to come in.
Q: How many lead singers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One. He holds the bulb while the world revolves around him.
Q: Did you hear about the female opera singer who had quite a range at the lower end of the scale.
A: She was known as the deep C diva.
A: Six. One to do it, and five to say, "It's too high for him."
Q: What's the inscription on dead blues-singers tombstones?
A: "I didn't wake up this morning..."
A: None. They can't get up that high.
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