Churchill is supposed to have bumped into the MP Bessie Braddock one night drunk. She is supposed to have said "Winston, you are drunk, and what’s more you are disgustingly drunk." He is supposed to have replied to her that she was ugly, and what’s more, she was disgustingly ugly. He then added "But tomorrow I shall be sober and you will still be disgustingly ugly.
The other humorous remark was supposed to have been drawn when the MP Nancy Astor said to him, "Winston, if I were your wife I would put poison in your tea". He is supposed to have replied, "And, Madame, if you were my wife, I would drink it."