1. Waiter, waiter, there's a fly in my soup!
Ssh, don't speak so loud. The other guests will want one too!
2. Waiter, waiter, there's a fly in my soup!
Don't worry sir, he's so small that he won't drink very much of it!!
3. Waiter, waiter, there's a fly swimming in my soup!
Yes sir, he's doing the crawl. Please encourage him by giving him a cheer or two!!
4. Waiter, waiter, your thumb is in my soup!
Don't worry, sir! The soup isn't very hot.
5. Waiter, waiter, there are some tiny flies in my wine!
Don't worry, sir! They may look tiny but they're over the legal drinking age for flies.
6. Waiter, waiter, there's a dead fly in my wine!
What's wrong, sir? You told me that you liked wine with a little body in it!
7. Waiter, waiter, there's a dead fly in my wine!
Oh no! I warned him not to drink and swim. If he had kept to soup he might have been a medal-winner in the next fly Olympics.
8. Waiter, waiter, there is a spider in my wine!
That's right sir! We've employed him to catch the flies.
9. Waiter, waiter, there's no soup on the menu today!
That's right sir! I wiped all the menus yesterday as part of our annual pre-Christmas clean-up. It's really encouraging to know that our customers notice these little details.
10. Waiter, waiter, there's a cockroach in my soup!
That's right sir! He's volunteered to take over while the fly visits his mother over Christmas. If you look carefully, you can see that he's wearing a little red hat and has a white beard.
11. Waiter, waiter, I want to complain to the chef.
I'm afraid his dinner break has just started. He'll be at the restaurant next door as usual.
12. Why do waiters prefer elephants to flies?Have you ever heard anyone complaining of an elephant in their soup?