The first time I got a universal remote control, I thought to myself, ‘This changes everything.’
Whiteboards are remarkable.
I have a few jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work.
‘I have a split personality,’ said Tom, being Frank.
The man is a seasoned veteran. He's survived both mustard gas and pepper spray.
I spilled spot remover on my dog, now he’s gone. (Steven Wright)
What’s another word for Thesaurus? (Steven Wright)