Yet More Malapropisms

1. “decapitated coffee.”
2. “he takes me for granite.”
3. “prostrate cancer”
4. “chickenpops”
5. "Does the printshop do lemonading?"
6. "Avoid him, he smokes marinara"
7. "Shoplifters will be prostituted"
8. "When I hugged him, I could smell his colon"
9.  "Card only, no cashback' sorry for the incontinence"
10. "The project was on euthanasia not youth in Asia!!" (technically a monde green we may come to those)

More Malapropisms

1.  'Going off on a tandem' 
2.  'The world is your lobster, my son' Arthur Daley. 
3.  'I'm as happy as a sandbag'
4.  'A bit of a damp squid'
5. 'He eludes confidence' 
6. 'It's not rocket fuel'
7. 'If I don't want to serve someone, that is my provocative'
8.  'Chocolate peripherals'
9. 'Cordelia is a paragon of goodness and finial loyalty'
10. T'he officers surrounded the square in a great show of consubstantial force'

Original Malapropisms

Here are some of the original malapropisms from Mrs. Malaprop who appears in Richard B Sheridan's play The Rivals (1775).

1. "...promise to forget this fellow - to illiterate him, I say, quite from your memory." [obliterate]
2. "O, he will dissolve my mystery!" [resolve]
3. "He is the very pine-apple of politeness!" [pinnacle]
4. "I have since laid Sir Anthony's preposition before her;" [proposition]
5. "Oh! it gives me the hydrostatics to such a degree."[hysterics]
6. "I hope you will represent her to the captain as an object not altogether illegible." [ineligible]
7. "...she might reprehend the true meaning of what she is saying." [comprehend]
8. "...she's as headstrong as an allegory on the banks of Nile." [alligator]
9. "I am sorry to say, Sir Anthony, that my affluence over my niece is very small." [influence]
10. "Why, murder's the matter! slaughter's the matter! killing's the matter! - but he can tell you the perpendiculars." [particulars]
11. "Nay, no delusions to the past - Lydia is convinced;" [allusions]
12. "...behold, this very day, I have interceded another letter from the fellow;" [intercepted]
13. "I thought she had persisted from corresponding with him;" [desisted]
14. "His physiognomy so grammatical!" [phraseology]
15. "I am sure I have done everything in my power since I exploded the affair;" [exposed]
16. "I am sorry to say, she seems resolved to decline every particle that I enjoin her." [article]
17. "...if ever you betray what you are entrusted with... you forfeit my malevolence for ever..." [benevolence]
18. "Your being Sir Anthony's son, captain, would itself be a sufficient accommodation;" [recommendation]
19. "Sure, if I reprehend any thing in this world it is the use of my oracular tongue, and a nice derangement of epitaphs!" [apprehend, vernacular, arrangement, epithets]