Showing posts with label Nose. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Nose. Show all posts

Steve Martin in Roxanne


In the 1987 film Roxanne Steve Martin's character alludes to 25 jokes about his nose as follows

1. Obvious: Excuse me. Is that your nose or did a bus park on your face.
2. Meteorological: Everybody take cover. She’s going to blow.
3. Fashionable: You know, you could de-emphasize your nose if you wore something larger. Like … Wyoming.
4. Personal: Well, here we are. Just the three of us.
5. Punctual: Alright gentlemen. Your nose was on time but you were fifteen minutes late.
6. Envious: Oooo, I wish I were you. Gosh. To be able to smell your own ear.
7. Naughty: Pardon me, Sir. Some of the ladies have asked if you wouldn’t mind putting that thing away.
8. Philosophical: You know. It’s not the size of a nose thats important. It’s what’s in it that matters.
9. Humorous: Laugh and the world laughs with you. Sneeze and its goodbye Seattle.
10. Commercial: Hi, I’m Earl Schibe and I can paint that nose for $39.95.
11. Polite: Ah. Would you mind not bobbing your head. The orchestra keeps changing tempo.
12. Melodic: Everybody! “He’s got the whole world in his nose.”
13. Sympathetic: Oh, What happened? Did your parents lose a bet with God?
14. Complimentary: You must love the little birdies to give them this to perch on.
15. Scientific: Say, does that thing there influence the tides.
16. Obscure: Oh, I’d hate to see the grindstone . . . Think about it.
17. Inquiry: When you stop to smell the flowers, are they afraid?
18. French: Say, the pigs have refused to find any more truffles until you leave.
19. Pornographic: Finally, a man who can satisfy two women at once.
20. Religious: The Lord giveth and He just kept on giving, didn’t He.
21. Disgusting: Say, who mows your nose hair.
22. Paranoid: Keep that guy away from my cocaine.
23. Aromatic: It must be wonderful to wake up in the morning and smell the coffee . . . in Brazil
24. Appreciative: Oooh, how original. Most people just have their teeth capped.
25. Dirty: Your name wouldn’t be Dick, would it?

Who knows any nose jokes?

My dog doesn't have a nose.
How does it smell?
Terrible! (like that joke)

I like your nose.
I picked it myself.

Or why was the nose sad at school?
It didn't get picked

What do you find inside a clean nose?
Fingerprints.

How is it that the nose runs and the feet smell?

Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long?
Because then it would be a foot

How do you keep a skunk from smelling?
Hold its nose

My pet skunk by Olden D Nose
Blowing my nose by Hank Yee