I've invented a new word. It's called plagiarism.
There was a mathematician who was afraid of negative numbers. He'd stop at nothing to avoid them.
A woman in labour suddenly shouted, "Shouldn't! Wouldn't! Couldn't! Didn't! Can't!"
The concerned father-to-be asked, "Doctor, what's going on?"
The doctor said, "Don't worry, those are just contractions."
What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches? A nervous wreck
Why should the number 288 never be mentioned? It's two gross
What did the bald man say when he received a comb for Christmas?
Thank you. It means so much to me, I'll never ever part with it.
What did the buffalo say when his son left for college? Bison
I told my wife she was drawing on her eyebrows with too high an arch. She turned to me, looking rather surprised.
How would you describe a cockerel looking at a plate of lettuce, cucumber and tomato?
A chicken sees a salad?