Some Penguin Jokes


Q. What's black and white and has eight wheels ?
A. A penguin on skates

Q. What's a penguin's favourite dessert ?
A. Baked Alaska

Q. What do penguins wear on their heads ?
A. Ice-caps

Q. How does a penguin build its house ?
A. Igloos it together

Q. What does a penguin wear on rainy days ?
A. His mackerel

Q. Why are penguins such good racing drivers ?
A. Because they are always in pole position.

Q. Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks ?
A. Because they haven't got any pockets.

Q. How do penguins drink ?
A. Out of beakers.

Q. Why are igloos round ?
A. So that penguins can't hide in the corners.

Q. Why are penguin's shops so busy ?
A. Because the fish fillet.

Q. What do penguins sing to each other on their birthdays ?
A. Freeze a jolly good fellow.

Q. What do you call fifty penguins in Leicester Square ?
(Time Square)
A. Lost.

Q. How do a group of penguins make a decision ?
A. Flipper coin.

Q. How do you make one fish keep a secret from another ?
A. Make them promise not to tell a sole.

Q. What do you call a penguin policeman ?
A. The old bill.

Q. What did the sea say to the shore ?
A. Nothing, it just waved.

Q. What do you call a penguin that steals baby octopuses ?
A. A squidnapper.

Q. What is a penguin's favourite party game ?
A. Sardines.

Q. Where do you find out the weight of a whale ?
A. At the whale-weigh station.

Q. What do penguin nuclear scientists eat ?
A. Fission Chips

Q. Where do penguins go to dance ?
A. At the snow ball.

Q. What has three wheels and travels along the bottom of the ocean ?
A. A motor-pike and side-carp.

Q. Why are fish so clever ?
A. Because they spend so much time in schools.

Q. How do you stop a Polar Bear from charging ?
A. You take away its credit card.

Q. What is brown, has a hump and lives at the South Pole ?
A. A very lost camel

Q. What do you call a fish on a frozen lake
A. Ice-Skate.

Q. What shoes do Penguin's wear on the ice ?
A. Slippers.

Q. Who is a Penguin's favourite aunt ?
A. Aunt-Arctica.

Q. How does a Penguin know when there's something wrong ?
A. It smells a bit fishy.

Q. What is a Penguin's favourite salad ?
A. Iceberg lettuce.

Q. How does a Penguin get to school ?
A. On an icicle.

Q. Why don't Polar Bears eat Penguins ?
A. They can't get the wrappers off.

Q. How do you communicate with a fish ?
A. You drop him a line.

Q. What do you call a snowman with a suntan ?
A. A puddle.

Q. What do you call a fish without an eye ?
A. Fsh.

Q. What does Cinderella seal wear ?
A. Glass flippers.