A British man is visiting Australia. The man at customs asks him "Do you have a criminal record?" The British man replies "I didn't think you'd need one any more."
A Canadian man pulls up to the American border. "Sir, do you have a gun in the car?" "No ... I didn't know I needed one."
An old German man arrives at Warsaw airport. He is questioned. "Surname?" "Schmidt." "First name?" "Hans." "Occupation?" "Nein, just visiting this time."
(I have a disease where I can’t stop telling airport jokes. My doctor says it’s terminal.)