Saying, 'I'm sorry' is the same as saying, ' I apologise.' Except at a funeral.
I am bravery. I am courage. I am valour. I am daring. I am holding a thesaurus.
I used to play sports. Then I realised you can buy trophies. Now I am good at everything.
The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.
The bird, the bee, the running child are all the same to the sliding glass door.
Whenever I'm on my computer, I don't type 'lol'. I type 'lqtm' - laugh quietly to myself. It's more honest.
Also
I like to use 'I Can't Believe it's Not Butter' on my toast in the morning, because sometimes when I eat breakfast, I like to be incredulous. How was breakfast? Unbelievable.
My favourite fruit is grapes. Because with grapes, you always get another chance. 'Cause, you know, if you have a crappy apple or a peach, you're stuck with that crappy piece of fruit. But if you have a crappy grape, no problem - just move on to the next. 'Grapes: The Fruit of Hope.'