Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. So I said, "Got any shoes you're not using?"
My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.
Someone sent me a postcard picture of the earth. On the back it said, "Wish you were here."
Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.
I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
I's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it.
What's another word for Thesaurus?
When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving.
If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?
I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.
I had amnesia once or twice.
Is "tired old cliche" one?
If you had a million Shakespeares, could they write like a monkey?
If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke?