How do you make a Swiss roll?
Push him down the Alps
How do you make a Maltese cross?
Stamp on his toe
How do you make a Venetian blind?
Poke his eyes out
How do you make an Italian wine?
Tell him his scooter has broken down and lunch is off
How do you make a Finnish star?
Call in Kimi Raikonen, Sammi Hyypia or Sibelius
How do you make a Mexican salsa?
Put hot chilis in his underpants
How do you make a Belgian waffle?
Ask him to speak for two minutes on famous compatriots
How do you make a Japanese fan?
Tell him Manchester United are coming to Tokyo
How do you make a Nigerian stew?
Tell him you will give him your bank account details next week
How do you make a Hawaiian punch?
Keep hitting him on the head
How do you make a Viennese whirl?
Dance the waltz with them very quickly