Religious Light Bulb Jokes

  • Charismatics 1. Hands are already in the air.
Or 10 - One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.
  • Roman Catholics None - Candles only.
  • Evangelicals At least 12 - One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the quiche and the fried chicken.
  • Unitarians We choose not to make a statement either in favour of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, you are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, 3-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.
  • Wet liberals. Undetermined - Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb or tulip bulb. Bring a bulb of your choice to the Sunday lighting service and a covered dish to pass.
  • Deeply conservative fundamentalists Change?
  • Amish What’s a light bulb?
  • Budhists. Four. One to change it, one to not change it, one to both change it and not change it, and one to neither change it nor not change it.